When I was young, I got:
. Bullied in school somewhat.
. Slapped in public by my parents.
. Yelled at by my late, angry dad, your typical grouchy older-gen asian dude.
. Shouted at by teachers who seemed to take our their personal problems on the entire class.
. Treated like shit by some crazy girls I dated.
But I turned out fine. I graduated from college. I created my own businesses. I dated many, amazing women in my life. I got to travel. I have a great network of connections and friends today. I also feel I have a good control of my finances.
After all, it wasn't like I was raped in the asshole when I was a kid right?
I actually told my therapist this before. After sharing some of the notable shit I went through in life, I remarked something along the lines of, "But who am I to complain right? It wasn't like I was raped as a child. My life isn't as bad as the crazy shit you read in the news or watch in movies."
Hell, I even felt ashamed to even share anything because I thought it made me look like a little shit who couldn't handle a bit of pain, pain which wasn't worth turning into a feature-length film.
She then replied that regardless of who and what, one's pain and trauma is always valid.
Some points to consider for your own life then:
. Yes, you can call it trauma. If it's something that distresses you till today and you feel you need to have a conversation about it, it is trauma.
. It doesn't matter how seemingly insignificant it is in comparison to others'. It is valid for you, so talk about it.
. I do believe the, let's call it the traumatic-yet-not-so-crazy events in your life have significant consequences down the road as you grow older. It shapes your psyche and how you see the world. E.g. I get very triggered when I see instances of bullying. It genuinely makes me upset and anxious instantaneously. Why? Because I never processed it when I was being bullied young. I was always told to just let it go. But, when I acted like an asshole, I got reprimanded and even humiliated by my parents heavily. Today, I am sensitive to injustice everywhere I go today and I feel I can never do a thing about it due to a lack of support. Injustice hence breeds within me internally, giving me a sense of hopelessness almost everyday.
. Learn how to process things so you can be self-aware enough to verbalize it or write it down. Go for therapy if need be. Being aware of your trauma is how you begin to heal.
. Ultimately, on the grand scheme of things, you'd do well for yourself by not living a life of comparing yourself with others, be it good or bad things in life
. Yet, count your blessings and be grateful for the good things in your life or how good you do indeed have it. It is hence your privilege to serve and help the less unfortunate.
. If you feel like you're in my shoes, where you're privileged enough to live in a modern society, but hampered by traumatic-yet-not-so-crazy things in life, I want you to know you're doing a great job today. You took it like man. You didn't react blindly and get in trouble with the law. You may feel upset from not getting revenge and all that, but you still exercised compassion and humility. You learned that not everything goes your way in life and that's a powerful trait to have.