Some Thoughts On Losing Your Father

Yesterday was my father's death anniversary. It has been 18 years.

Some thoughts from all over the place:

. I cried like a bitch when it happened.

. To this day, I sometimes wonder why because I wasn't even close to him.

. Today, my reponse to his aloof nature when he was around is complete anger only. I literally never had a male role model in my life.

. His ALS was largely kept from me and my brother because our parents did not want us to worry. Folks, please do not do this. You're denying us a timeframe and deadline to actually do or say shit we can't otherwise do. If a loved one has been given a death sentence, please inform as soon as possible.

. For some bizarre reason, when I dream of my father, it's always the same scenario where he gets cured and can reverse ALS.

. And then I wake up realizing instantly he's still not alive.

. That said, life goes on anyway. You're pretty much forced to move on.